The Gold in the Cracks

 

​Kintsugi, the Japanese art of mending broken pottery with gold, is rooted in the wisdom of wabi-sabi - the beauty of simplicity, imperfection, and life’s natural cycles. Rather than hiding the cracks, Kintsugi highlights them, honouring each break as part of the object’s story.

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This philosophy has become a quiet guide in my own life and healing work. Like many of us, I’ve carried wounds - some visible, others hidden. At times, I’ve felt broken. But Kintsugi has shown me that healing isn’t about going back to how things were. It’s about transforming through love and care - turning our cracks into something golden, something even more beautiful and whole.

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“There is beauty in the mending. There is gold in the story.”

 

​​Kintsugi lives in my heart.​ It speaks to a quiet strength within me - the knowing that even when I’ve felt shattered, I’ve never truly been broken.

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The Beauty of My Scars​

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I carry real scars — on my body, and in my heart. For a long time, I felt ashamed of them. I saw them as signs that I was damaged, different… even unlovable. There were times I felt like a freak, like I had to hide those parts of me to be accepted.

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“Each scar has become a sacred thread in the tapestry of my becoming.”

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But over time, something shifted.​ I began to see them differently - not as flaws, but as golden seams in my story. They speak of survival, transformation, and resilience. They make me me. And now, I see their beauty.

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“What once brought shame can become a source of strength."

What once felt broken can become the most beautiful part of you. It won’t look the same for everyone - but it can be like that, for you too.

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A Call to Care

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I’ve always felt a deep call to be of service - to walk alongside those who are vulnerable, overlooked, or struggling. It’s what led me to become a Mental Health Nurse, a role I have held with love and dedication for over 20 years in the NHS.

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Burnout and the Turning Point

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But over time, the weight of constantly giving - without knowing how to receive or tend to myself - took its toll. I began to unravel in quiet, hidden ways. Burnout crept in, not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually. I realised I had spent so much of my life caring for others that I had forgotten how to care for myself. Or rather, I had never truly learned how.

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My upbringing had instilled in me a strong belief that self-sacrifice was noble - that putting others first was the right thing to do. And while it came from a place of love, it became a pattern that slowly chipped away at my own well-being.

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Softness Meets Strength

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In 2018, life offered me a turning point. Personal circumstances led me to leave my old life and move to another country - a place where my deeper healing began to unfold. It was there that I began to soften, to unravel, to remember parts of myself I had long forgotten. I started stepping into a more embodied way of living - one rooted in presence, self-compassion, and truth.

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But it was my return to England that became the true crucible.

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I came back with no home, no job, no relationship, and very little money. I was in deep grief - untethered, disoriented, and unable to hold onto anything I had once clung to. It felt like a freefall. And yet, that surrender was sacred. It asked me to strip everything back and find a new way of being, one not built on survival or self-abandonment, but on radical self-love.

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The years that followed were not easy. They were messy, painful, and transformative. But through them, I have slowly become someone I barely recognise - in the most beautiful way. Someone softer, wiser, stronger. Someone becoming more me.

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“Hushee was born from this journey — a space where softness meets strength,
where the breath deepens, the body remembers, and healing unfolds at your own pace.”

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My Way of Holding Space

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I don’t promise quick fixes. I offer a steady hand, a listening heart, and a space where all of you is welcome - especially the parts still finding their way. It is a gentle return to self - a path of reclamation, remembrance, and self-sovereignty.

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“My path weaves nursing, healing, yoga, and soul work into something wholly unique — a way of holding space not just with knowledge, but with lived wisdom, intuition, presence, and care that meets you exactly where you are.”

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